Mindfulness has become quite a buzzword in education, and despite a wealth of research supporting its efficacy in helping kids improve academically, physiologically, socially, and emotionally…kids are just worn out.
I’ve actually witnessed deep, profound eye rolls at the mention of the word “mindful” to school-age kids in all grades. I remember having similar sentiments at the anti-drug D.A.R.E. campaigns in the early nineties – we get it! Drugs are bad! Message received!
We all experience deepest learning by firsthand sensations and concrete lived experience – after all, high school kids take classroom driver’s ed, but really don’t learn to drive until they get behind the wheel, right?
Experiential learning as an instructional method is particularly salient for young children. They learn by doing – and are able to pursue their own interests and work through problems as they go.
Here are 5 ways you can encourage mindfulness in kids:
- Embrace your child’s unique affinity and help them connect.
Most people have an affinity – something they have a spontaneous or natural liking towards. My 5 year old loves anglerfish, those terrifying deep-sea creatures with a bioluminescent light hanging in front of its face. We talk about anglerfish, move our bodies like anglerfish (see him in his infamous anglerfish pose that inspired my class Mindful Movement for Kids here), do anglerfish crafts, and (attempt) to decorate anglerfish cookies. It’s his way of relating to the world, and if I ask a simple question or two about anglerfish, he can go off for half an hour talking about anglerfish, his day at school, his upcoming birthday party, and a million other things. It’s like a window into his world. My job as a parent is to open the sash of the window and listen.
2. Connect to the breath.
Mind-body awareness is enormously important and the foundation of mindfulness practice. It’s because while our mind has the ability to skip forward and backwards in time and be in multiple places at once, our bodies are rooted in the present moment. Whenever things get overwhelming, encourage your child to breathe. Focus on the sensation of the breath in the nostrils, or have your child place one hand on her belly and imagine there is a balloon inside, inflating with each breath. There are a plethora of guided meditations on YouTube for kids – see one example here.
3. Let kids teach you.
Ever seen a kid completely absorbed in a task? Maybe he’s playing with blocks and gets furious when you try to tell him it’s time to put his shoes on to leave the house. Kids seem to be able to achieve a flow state so much more easily than adults – they allow themselves to get immersed in what they are doing, they block outside distractions, and sometimes, time just seems to stand still. Sometimes you realize the house is a little too quiet and get suspicious of some foul play, only to find your kid quietly coloring or looking at a book. We have so much to learn from our children. Try to join them and get fully absorbed in what they are doing. If you find you have to struggle to stay present and engaged in, say, a toddler tea party – that’s great! Realizing your mind is elsewhere and re-engaging with the task at hand is exactly how you strengthen your “mindfulness” muscle.
4. Paint a picture – literally and with words
No matter the age, children are highly visual learners. Whenever you can, incorporate pictures into their lives. Try to use pictures instead of words when labeling toy bins and drawers. Look at family photos in real albums, talk about the illustrations in the books you read together. When I work with children in an exercise setting, I always use visual cards to demonstrate the movements we do.
Rather than offering an itemized list of what you’ll do that day, try verbally “painting a picture” of what that looks like. So instead of “we’re going to the park, then coming home for lunch and nap”, try something like “We’re going to play outside and breathe in the fresh air, then when we get hungry we’ll come inside and make your favorite peanut butter sandwiches and have a picnic on the living room floor before we lie down for a nap”.
5. Model your intentions
Perhaps the most important thing you can do as a parent to encourage mindfulness is to model it yourself. I don’t mean to say you need to live blissfully in the present in every moment – but make an effort to stay present, and share your challenges with you do.
When your child talks to you, put down your phone or close your laptop. Get eye-to-eye and give her your full attention. When your mind starts to wander, notice it aloud in a welcoming and non-judgmental way. “I’m sorry, you were talking about the mermaid game you made up at recess today and I started thinking about what to make for dinner! I really want to hear about your game. Can you tell me again?”
More than anything, our kids learn by what we model. And the beauty is in sharing the process of learning and practicing, not in the result of being some blissed-out yogi parent.
Moira Johnson Customized Fitness 